If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
