Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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