i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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