literally had 100 drinks last night.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
