y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize