Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
