READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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