Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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