You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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