He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
