I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
