He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
