I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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