he wants to bone in the snuggie
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
