Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
