I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
