would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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