K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
