It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize