Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
