the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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