Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
