dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
