how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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