dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
