Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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