I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
