I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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