The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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