Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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