Can Purell be used as lube?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
