ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
