is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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