So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
