PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
