hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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