Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
