I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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