I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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