yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
