I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
