He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
