We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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