he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
