So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
