My balls are so social today.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
