There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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