ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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