Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
