i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
