If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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