I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
