Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
