i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
