She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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