ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
