just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize